Let’s be open about it. If you’re in your teens or 60s, lust can be a severe issue for you. Whether you’re a CEO of fortune 500 or just an average man, the demon of lust will attack you. It doesn’t have to do anything with age or your status.
You don’t have to admonish yourself over this. Take it as a problem and sort it out. Overcome lust and run away from it. You don’t have to fight with lust because none of us can. It’s instructed to flee from it.
“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”2 Timothy 2:22, KJV
Lust damages your relationship and makes you feel pity in your own eyes. Lusty actions will only result in regret and resentment and set you up on a destructive path. Again, you’re not alone facing this problem. Many of us have been fleeing; some are successful while others are in process.
Not to worry at all, I’ve got you covered. By the end of this article, you’ll have a fresh perspective and courage to overcome the lust. In the end, you’ll be powerful to fight with your own brain and direct it to productive thoughts. But before that, let’s understand what’s lust in actuality. After that, I’ll discuss how to overcome lust.
Lust is a feeling of having a strong sexual desire for another person. That person could be the life partner, stranger walking on the street, or person whom you just met. It could be anyone. Lust has no boundaries.
Hormones like testosterone, pheromones, and androgens all factor into how lust may be experienced. But we don’t have to scientifically understand it. We all know it, after all.
Difference between love and lust
If you’re feeling the love at first sight, the probability is likely that what you’re experiencing is lust, not love. That’s right. Because love involves deeper emotional connection, feelings to make another person happy without getting any favor in return, and strong psychological harmony. Whereas lust totally revolves around sexual desires.
Ask yourself a question:
- What do I like about her?
- If your brain responds that she’s beautiful, lovely, and charming. Ask again:
- What if she’s not going to be beautiful anymore? How about when she will be in her 50s?
- If your response is that: I love being with her. Ask:
- Or what if she wouldn’t be with me? Or someone else will come into my life better than her, and I would love their company, too. Would I still like her?
Love is loving the person in every situation. Whereas lust is liking the person until they match the sexual ideal created by our mind. That’s right. We pack our lust in the dress of love and think that’s love. It’s not. And that’s the difference between lust and love.
You must understand that love teaches you to keep your feelings the same regardless of appearance or any quality that’s for the time being, just like physical beauty.
Signs of lust
Following are critical characteristics of lust:
- Desperate desire to have a sexual relationship with a specific person.
- Feelings are purely driven by sexual desires.
- Physical appearance is the sole reason to have a relationship.
- The person becomes less attractive when their flaws are exposed. For instance, they may be suffering from a disease or psychological illness.
- Feelings, emotions, and other characteristics of a person aren’t the reason for the relationship.
- Desire to have a short-term relationship.
- Due to sexual thirst, heart rate increases, and palms perspire. A lusty person can experience butterflies in the stomach when an attractive person comes in front. Or even if their thought comes to mind.
Is lust a healthy emotion?
As per scientific reasoning: If it’s with your partner and happens occasionally, it’s healthy and exciting. But you have no control over it, and your mind is frequently occupied with this emotion, then it’s extremely damaging emotionally, psychologically, and for relationship. It gets even worse if you have a lust for a person outside of your relationship. Your current relationship can be tarnished with this catastrophic emotion.
As per religion: Any type of lust is not good for any of us. It has no reasoning and logic, and it’s pure instant gratification. Lust isn’t good at all, not in any form or on any level.
If you don’t overcome lust, it computes itself and brings disturbance in life. However, the good news is you can overcome lust by following a few steps. So let’s see some tips on how to overcome lust.
How to overcome lust?
Getting carried away with lusty feelings makes you uncomfortable for others. It’s a strong force that drives you to abuse, cross your redlines, and disrespect values and norms. It slides you on the path of desecration. It’s imperative to control it and demonstrate authority on your such desires. Be mindful and take charge of your life in your hands by considering the suggestions mentioned below:
1. Have a schedule for every minute
To overcome lust, make your brain busy. As they say, an empty mind is the house of the devil, so you must make yourself busy with productive things. Make a schedule for every hour, strictly follow it, and focus on daily tasks. For instance, breakfast at 8, office at 9, lunch at 1, gym at 6, the library at 8, and sleep at 8. You can make your daily schedule and stick to it without compromising. Spend your every hour as per the schedule.
One of the biggest reasons that attract lusty thoughts is free time. During these moments, the brain thinks about people, fantasizes about them in different ways, and ultimately you fall more and more into this bog. When you go to bed, you must have things to do tomorrow so that you can think of those. You should also be tired enough to sleep quickly without getting involved in lusty thoughts.
2. Think of it logically
Argue with reasoning and think of the end result that lust will bring. If you’re in a relationship and titillating for someone outside your relationship, it’ll break your relationship as well as theirs. There’ll four persons (you and your partner, intended person, and their partner) suffer just because of your 20-minute pleasure. Lust breaks relationships and destroys lives.
If your brain welcomes logical reasoning, you’ll definitely flee from the lusty thoughts each time you argue. And if you aren’t in a relationship, then why leave scars on your spirituality? Fulfilling your sexual desires through lust isn’t good for anyone. In addition, it has no end. If you do it once, you’ll do it again. And again. And it’ll continue until you don’t decide to stop it. This is the time to stop it. Not a single positive result you can get with lust. It’s pure selfishness.
I can prove this. Don’t answer loud to the following question:
has lust ever caused you to make a silly decision? How’re you feeling about that decision now?
3. Seek for love, not lust
When thinking about how to overcome lust, don’t forget that you’re replacing it with love. You’ll value your partner or potential partner if you think this way. In love, she’ll complete and fill you inside. You need to develop this sense.
She’s going to be the reason for your success in your professional and personal life. Through your loved one, life is beautiful and complete.
There is someone who cares about you, what you wear, what you do, and loves you for being who you are. Be worthy of that love.
Being lusty, no one can be proud of himself. Convince your mind that you have to change for your love. Gradually you’ll start hating lust.
4. Stop from the lust of eyes
It all starts with viewing a person and then fantasizing. But if you don’t do the lust of eyes, your brain will find it hard to imagine anything objectionable. Does that mean you shut your eyes? It’s not possible at all.
The whole point is that don’t stare. Why look second or third time? Why prolonged gazing? Why stare and fill your mind with lust?
Shift your focus and avoid lusty looks. You know when your mind is turning to imagine. So stop it right there and move on with your day.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”
The concept is your eyes are windows; whatever you want to throw inside, it’ll go in. in order to overcome your lust, you shouldn’t see the opposite gender in a way that fills you with lust.
5. Be mindful of your friendships
You are the average of the five friends you spend the most time with. It means the habits of your friends will come in you, and your actions, thinking patterns, and ability to differentiate between right and wrong would be almost similar to them. If your company is mostly filled with sexual jokes, explicit conversations, and intimate gazing, you must need to change your friends’ club. That’s hurting you most, and it drives your brain back to lust consistently.
6. Do exciting things with your partner
Whether you’re getting too intimate with your partner or feeling lusty outside your relationship, it’s time to go home. There are a bunch of exciting things that you can do together. Explore places, enjoy recipes, play some kind of games, and do anything that puts your focus off from sexual activities. If you’re getting too intimate with your partner, this way, you’ll be able to shift your brain’s focus and seek love. Consequently, lust goes away, and you start admiring the other qualities of your partner.
On the other side, if you’re feeling explicit outside the relationship, spending time with your partner will help you understand your partner’s importance and put you away from lusty thoughts. Either way, spending time with your partner is a win-win.
In addition, you can request your partner to wear a modest dress (if she agrees); this way, your mind will not focus on her sexually. Resultantly, you’ll have quality time with her.
7. Reduce the trigger points
Experiencing lust is associated with trigger points. For instance, you experience lust when you’re in an intoxicated state from alcohol or drugs. It can be the trigger point for you. Just like that, being alone for a while makes you think lusty thoughts. Another way is watching movies, seasons, or anything that tilts your brain toward lust. Figure out trigger points and avoid situations that direct you this way.
Exercise and make your fitness goals. Numerous studies have concluded that exercising helps us to use physical and mental energy productively.
Develop new habits that fascinate you. For example, start book reading, participate in different sports, join various groups to volunteer, and/or visit religious places.
8. Strategies to overcome lust
Keep yourself reminded every morning that you’re fleeing from lust. You can do it by:
- Watching videos that help you to stop accepting lustful thoughts. Make a list of those videos, and pick one or two to watch daily. These reminders will buzz in your mind each time you’re slipping toward lust.
- Reading a book on the subject. The more awareness you’ll have about it, the quicker you’ll be able to get away from it. Understand the science of lust and religious guidance on the matter.
- Joining groups or communities talking about lust openly and working on ways to run away from it. Or simply join the volunteer communities and spend your time there. It’ll be a valuable addition to your schedule, and that’ll keep you away from focusing on sexual aspects.
We’re living in the toughest and most explicit ages. From TV ads to Netflix seasons, from billboards to social media, the sex-crazy world is ready to make us more provocative. Even worse, we can’t get open about it, as today’s modern society will declare us conservative and old souls.
All things considered, still, with a few actions, you’ll be able to overcome lust. Just follow the tips above and demonstrate self-control to seek love and overcome lust. As soon as you decide to stop it, there is no power on earth that can undo you. Stay strong, stay firm.