When you walk into a gathering or attend the event, you feel butterflies in your stomach. When someone asks the question, you’re unable to reply confidently, and others say: “can you speak a little loud?” or “what? what are you saying?”
This situation further kills your confidence, and you go crazy. Smile cluelessly, utter no-meaning words, and talk fast.
In addition to it, you stand uncomfortably, sit uneasily, and walk perplexedly. What’s more? The feeling that you’re going to meet people generates pressure. You try to avoid meeting people, escaping social gatherings, and avoiding any social interaction.
If you’re facing any of such issues, things will change for you by the end of this article. You’ll become confident, composed, and serene. I’ve put together five proven tips on how to be more socially confident and less shy. Let’s get started.
1. Craft your elevator statement
This is a short and preprepared statement about yourself. When next time, you bump into a stranger at the social gathering, and when they ask: “what do you do?” or “O, what’s your name?”
You’ll introduce yourself through an elevator statement that you’ve already preprepared about yourself. The conversation starts well, and you’re more socially confident right from the beginning.
You can also prepare an elevator statement for existing or former friends. For instance, when former friends meet, they ask: “what are you doing nowadays?”
Again, you’ve got your preprepared answer, and you just need to deliver it confidently. But the next important question is how to craft an elevator statement?
Ensure that your elevator statement is no longer than 30 to 60 seconds. It should answer:
- What do you do (or what are you doing nowadays in case of existing or former friends)?
- What are you hoping to achieve in the near future?
- And what are your interests and hobbies?
A sample elevator statement is as below:
“Hey… Nice to meet you! I’m John, and I’m a software engineer at XYZ organization. I’ve developed 50 applications and working on 10 more currently. Umm… Engineering is my passion, and besides that, I love fishing and swimming. How about you, do you also love swimming or fishing? (slightly smile)”
Elevator statement is a top way to be socially confident, less shy, and reduce social anxiety. Make one or two for yourself, and initiate conversations with conviction.
2. Practice mirror talk
In order to be more socially confident, you develop the elevator statement. Now the next action is mirror talk. Stand or sit in front of the mirror, and say your elevator statement loud. Think as if you’re speaking to the other person. Watch out for your facial expressions, body language, and dressing. Keep practicing until you get perfect at it. Your body language should be positive. Dress decently as if you’re sitting in social settings. And facial expressions must be confident.
Using the Mirror Technique involves engaging your subconscious mind. To engage the unconscious mind, you must have a full-length mirror and a quiet space. Once you have found the right place, sit in front of the mirror and begin talking to yourself. Observe yourself in the mirror. Encourage yourself and your inner voice to speak positively.
It’s also fun to try different outfits and determine which ones look best on you. In addition, you can note your hands’ movement, legs’ placement, and overall body movement. The practice will train you to have anxiety-free and more-confident social conversations.
3. Record your voice
It’s time to work on your voice tune. Your voice is one of the most important tools that you have to make the most of in your life. A good-sounding voice will be confident and pleasant. Taking care of your vocal health will make you happier, more successful, and more confident. You should also be aware of your emotional state, as this will affect the way you sound.
While mirror talking and practicing elevator statements, record your voice and listen to it. Reflect on how do you sound to others. Make it better. Be mindful of what you’re practicing for. For instance, the voice tune will be different if you’re preparing for a public presentation, one-on-one conversation, or cheerleading.
Using a good posture will help you breathe properly and tune your voice. Aim to breathe deeply through your abdomen and speak with a strong, deep tone. Do not speak loudly – this can detract from your confidence. Besides, a good posture will make you appear more confident and make you sound more professional.
While most people do not speak at their full range, it is important to learn how to use your voice to communicate confidently. When speaking to others, you should find your ideal vocal range. If you have a low or a high voice, you may not sound confident.
When talking to others, be aware of how your voice relates to your emotions. For instance, if your voice is too loud, it might make you seem aloof and nervous.
Generally, most people do not speak at their maximum resonance range. Ideally, you should use your ideal voice range to sound confident. If you are speaking to yourself, you should have a lower voice. But if you are speaking to friends or making a presentation, you should raise your voice. Listen to your recordings consistently and keep improving until you find the right tune of your voice. It is important to know how your tone influences your ability to communicate effectively with others. This will make you more socially confident.
4. Work on your non-verbal communication
Changing your body language to be more confident can be challenging at first. Still, once you get the hang of it, you’ll be able to make friends and get out of the shadows more easily.
Practicing body language to be more socially confident is very important for those prone to social anxiety. If you have a strong self-image, it will help you overcome your social anxiety and feel better about yourself.
It is important to remember to make eye contact when meeting people. It’s also important to be aware of where your eyes are focused while you’re listening. Practicing making eye contact in a safe setting can help you become more confident in your appearance. Also, smiling and laughing are great ways to show your enthusiasm and happiness. It’s important to remember that working on your body language should be a fun, low-stress activity. When speaking, remember to maintain eye contact with the other person. Your eyes should be looking at them or at the person’s face. You’ll show that you’re interested in their conversation and that you’re comfortable with them.
Another way to improve your confidence is to take control of your posture. Many people have a bad habit of leaning backward to improve their posture, but this isn’t effective. By mirroring the other person, you’ll show them that you’re interested in their conversation and are not trying to impose yourself on them.
Practicing confident body language will also help you overcome social anxiety. It will also help you to develop a better understanding of other people.
5. Leave your comfort zone
After following the above-provided steps, now it’s time to see the progress in the real world.
This is something that you really need to backup yourself. But it’s not difficult until you try it for the first time. You’re always afraid of the worst-case scenario. For instance, when you talk, other people will walk away. Or they don’t show any interest at all. Even more, they ignore you, and this will embarrass you. Right?
These all are self-doubts, assumptions, and social anxiety. Fight it back, and if something happens like that, give margin to yourself. For instance, if someone doesn’t show interest in listening to you, they might be having a bad day. Or they might be socially shy or introverted.
Remove all doubts and go out to talk to your colleagues or random folks at the bus station, try video calls with strangers on social sites, and speak to old classmates. Start with a short 1-minute or 2-minute conversation. Ask how’s their day going. Congratulate them for their recent success, such as promotion, marriage, or having a baby.
Build on from there and discuss current events, I.E., politics, sports, TV shows, and so on. Find common interests and revolve your talks around them. You’ll feel socially confident and happy. Consequently, you’ll start speaking to a few other people and finally get out of your comfort zone.
Everybody has felt awkward in a social situation at one time or another. It could be meeting someone new or meeting your significant other’s parents. You may feel unsure of your actions and words. In such situations, you may wonder, “How can I become more socially confident?”
First, you need to challenge yourself with positive thoughts. Try to avoid saying negative things to yourself to avoid feeling bad. This is the best way to eliminate negative thinking and build your confidence. You should always focus on getting to know other people and being social with them. This way, you’ll feel less anxious and less self-conscious.
Make sure you practice all the techniques provided in this article. You’ll ultimately become the favorite person of many people. You’ll make new friends, strengthen your bond with existing ones, and enjoy social meetups to the fullest!