Anger can be a helpful emotion in a number of ways, and a form of stress is being left to run rampant. It is no cakewalk to go through a breakup, and even the strongest of the hearts and the wisest of the minds may fail sailing through it. A breakup can be a bad deal for some people and can be pretty painful to get over. Once your denial has been released, then your anger sets in, and you start to realize that it’s over and there is no going back.

There are times when anger has a masking effect, and you attempt to hide the pain that might be following. Therefore, if you want to know how to let go of anger after a breakup, you need some time to realize that you were wrong because anger can never be a solution, but it is a problem itself. Not all people can redirect their anger towards better, and they may involve themselves in harmful actions. There are a few straightforward ways through which one can easily control anger after a breakup.

You need to accept and express

It is worth noting that you may never be rewarded to maintain a happy face after a heartbreak. If you have any anger-related issues after a breakup, then it is never a good idea to hide them. Any change can start with a sincere acceptance that something might be bothering you and that things have to be different.

You must be wondering, ‘why am I still angry at my ex years later?’, the answer is simple, it is best that you don’t control your natural reactions towards pain. If you remove all the emotional barriers and let them flow in a natural way, you will start to accept that it is not easy to control everything. If you want to lower your pain, you need to accept it, feel it and then express it in whatever way you want.

mange anger breaup

Try to reach out to the source

After accepting your situation completely, you need to go to the next step and go to the source that is responsible for triggering your anger. It is worth noting that you cannot be mad at everything, so something must actually intensify your anger. When a man is angry after a breakup, lack of self-esteem and self-confidence could be the main reasons.

The source of anger can also be a thought that your ex might be dating someone else, a feeling of unworthiness, a thought of losing your lover forever, or it could even be something related to your past that might trigger the anger. It would help if you kept in mind that you become aware of this source consciously.

Take responsibility

There are a number of people who withdraw themselves from situations that they find uncomfortable. They either blame others for anything wrong that happens to them or crib endlessly for their bad luck. You will also see some who think that if they do good with somebody, the other person is bound to reciprocate with similar feelings. If the other person doesn’t do that, then they become a negative character in their blame games.

It would be best if you never let anybody decide the quality of your moods. In reality, you are not able to change anything unless you take the responsibility of changing it. The breakup anger stage can be dangerous, so it is crucial that if you are not happy with the way things are moving, you should be taking the responsibility of changing it.

Write a letter to your ex but never post it

There is always something in the minds and hearts that might be unsaid after a breakup. People try to keep it inside and think that it may be too late to express it. By doing this, the majority of people think that they might be protecting as well as helping themselves from any emotional outburst. After some time, these unsaid things start mutating into something bigger, and the outburst can be a form of extreme anger.

write letters

As compared to being angry, expressing everything to your ex can be a wise choice. This is one of the best ways of how to deal with anger towards an ex, as you have to grab a pen and a paper and write your heart out without thinking what will happen. You need to be transparent and try not to whitewash your thoughts because you don’t have to prove anything to anybody, which will surely relieve you.

Try to talk it out

Bubbling and building your anger inside can be very dangerous, and no one can save it from bursting, so the best way is to talk it out. So, you need to look for a person among your family and friends and try to be open in front of them regarding any issues that you are struggling to deal with. It would be constructive if you never were afraid of being misunderstood or misjudged.

You need to exercise it a few times, so whenever things start getting out of your control, sit with somebody you trust and talk your heart out in front of that individual. The chances are that this particular individual will understand you and might be helpful for you to see things from a wholly different and broader perspective.


It is never wrong to feel angry after a breakup because breakups can be challenging as hell. You need to realize that you will not be feeling like this forever, and soon you will reach a point where none of this will be bothering you anymore. If you are worried about how to let go of anger after a breakup, then keep in mind that forgiveness might be something that can be very helpful to fade the anger. You have to forgive for your own benefit and not for anybody else’s, and you don’t even have to express it to your ex.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Do people usually get angry after a breakup?

Anger is among the significant stages of grief, and therefore, it can be pretty unavoidable. You need to understand that it’s your mind that tries to process any situation and things that you wish were utterly different.

  • How can one control emotions after a breakup?

There are different ways of controlling one’s emotions. The most important thing is to give yourself some space and time and try to keep yourself busy. You can talk to your family and friends to get support and have regular exercise and sleep.

  • What stage of a breakup is anger?

The first three stages after a breakup are shock, denial, and bargaining, where you feel the reality of the breakup. Anger is the fourth stage, and it can come from a number of places as it entirely depends on the context of any relationship.

  • Do people have any hope after a breakup?

It is quite a common thing to get together after a breakup. There are a number of people who unite with their ex and mend the broken relations. Although rebuilding a relationship after a breakup may not be easy, but it is still possible to manage things.

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