Do people-pleasing consume your whole energy? If so, then read this article till the end. After going through this article you’ll know how to stop being a people-pleaser?
People-pleasing, in general, is not a bad thing. But overdoing people-pleasing can damage both your physical and mental health. Along with disturbing our relationships.
Let’s dig in to get rid of being a people pleaser. And get back control of your life.
Why Stop Being A People Pleaser
Why does pleasing behavior need to be stopped? Is it that bad?
If you’re constantly engaged in people-pleasing then it’s high time to get back. People-pleasing is in no way beneficial for you. Neither does it make your relationship strong. Contrary to that it may weaken your relationship and disturb the balance in the relationship.
Moreover, involving people-pleasing damages your mental health. You’re putting aside your own needs as if they’re not important. And by doing it consistently you start believing that and lose your self-worth. To please others you may ignore their bad behaviors. Eventually, it will leave you emotionally drained, frustrated, stressed, and lastly burnout.
Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser
After knowing the negative impact of pleasing people, there’s an immediate need to stop it.
Setting boundaries can be an effective way of curing people-pleasing syndrome. When you set boundaries for yourself the chances of falling for people-pleasing reduce to a great extent. Maintain healthy boundaries and stick to them. Communicate these boundaries with people around you. There’s no reason anyone will cross those boundaries.
If someone is not respecting your boundaries or is offended by them. Believe it or not, these are people who are getting benefited by your people-pleasing behavior. Stay away from such people. As they’ll bring no value in your life. Instead, cause more damage.
Self-Awareness plays a crucial role in getting over people-pleasing behavior. It could be considered as a first step for curing people-pleasing syndrome. Take out time to find what are your needs and wants or likes, dislikes. This will automatically make it easier to overcome people-pleasing behavior. As you know what makes you happy and what doesn’t. Also, you realize that you’re right to make a choice.
Self-awareness makes you mindful. You make decisions accordingly. You’re more willing to listen to your inner voice than please others. Start to know yourself more.
Once you’ve become self-aware. It’s time to accept yourself. Indeed, it’s not an easy task for people pleasers. But by putting conscious effort it’s achievable. Positive self-talk could be helpful.
Do people pleasers have low self-esteem?
At times, we all seek validation from others. There’s no denial in that but becoming completely dependent on external validation can be harmful. Their poor self-esteem and rejection from others may lead to depression.
How to stop being insecure? To stop being insecure you need to realize your self-worth. As every person is unique and has his own capabilities. So, don’t underestimate yourself.
Identify Your Prioritizes
Knowing your values is essential to setting your priorities in life. Setting priorities helps to maintain an overall balance in life. These priorities guide your behavior. When you know your priorities, you don’t do things to please others. Rather the ones you value. It discourages people from pleasing behavior.
Once you have set your priorities according to the significance. It’s more convenient to say No. Because you know where you should invest your time and energy. This way you got an answer for how to stop caring what people think? And prioritize your own needs and wants.
Learn To Say No
The word ‘NO’ might appear simple. But the power it has is unbelievable. At times, it’s necessary to say No to things, people, or situations that don’t serve us. This No can be a savior for you.
On the other hand, saying ‘No’ is the hardest thing for people-pleaser. In fact, their ‘YES’ is what causes people-pleasing behavior. No could be your biggest tool against people-pleasing. Start practicing it from today even on the smallest matters. So, you’re able to say No when needed.
Get Rid of Toxic People
No doubt some people like your people-pleasing behavior. The reason is that they are in some way or other getting advantage of it.
Remove such toxic people from your life. They are not worthy of keeping. The fear of social exclusion may not allow you to do so. But keep in mind, you’re not here to be manipulated by anyone. Such appeasing behavior, in the end, will only impact your well-being negatively.
Delay The Response
Delaying responses is an amazing technique that can be used by people pleasers. Earlier we discussed how saying a ‘No’ can eliminate the danger of people-pleasing. While saying a ‘No’ for a people pleaser can sometimes become impossible. In that case, delaying the response can work out.
Now how would delaying make a difference? According to research, prolonging responses have higher accuracy. Delaying a response gives you more time to think. By utilizing this time one can make an informed decision. You would know what you’re committing to. And is it worth committing?
Engage in Self-Care
How to stop being a people pleaser? Engaging in self-care is another way to stop people-pleasing. But this is only possible when you prioritize yourself over others. And realize your personal needs.
Self-care will not only decrease your people-pleasing behavior. But it also lowers your stress and saves you from burnout. Self-care will make you fresh and energized. So, spend more time pleasing yourself, not other people.
Don’t Give Plenty Of Excuses
If you’re a people pleaser. You might have experienced it. You’re most of the time involved in giving excuses and apologizing. Even when it’s not your fault. To get out of danger of people-pleasing this behavior should be forbidden. There’s no harm in saying sorry when it’s your fault. But if you’re doing it every time without even thinking. Then, my dear friend, it’s time to stop.
Giving more explanation shows that you’re a weak person who’s not confident in his/her own decision. Which increases the opportunity to fall again into the trap of people-pleasing.
Get A Therapy
When you’re done trying everything but nothing works out. The danger of being a people pleaser is constant. Then you, my friend, get therapy. Book a session with your therapist.
Getting help from a professional will let you know why you are stuck in such behavior? And how to stop caring what people think. So, seek help from professionals. They will suggest strategies that will be more specific and relevant to your condition. Hence will be effective.
Small notes written and relooked, start small, wait until asked for help, can’t please everyone, confidence.
Concluding how to stop being a people-pleaser. We would say the following ways shared above will certainly help you get rid of people-pleasing. But one thing to clear is that it’s YOU and only YOU who can change it. It’s your determination and practice that can overcome people-pleasing behavior.
Start small and this will boost your confidence. To a point where you’ll completely get free from this behavior. Best Wishes for warriors like you. Get started from Now. Also, share it with friends and family who struggle with being a people pleaser.