Every relationship requires a few relationship skills, especially friendship, because we have to invest in it and bring our best to keep this relationship long-lasting. Many experts say that the key to having emotional stability and good mental health is a solid friendship. Therefore, having good friends should be one of the top priorities in our life, as it can be very helpful to speed up our recovery when we are facing difficult moments of life.
Sometimes in friendships, we continuously start to get a feeling that our friends are letting us down. While it may be true as some might be doing it, but in reality, we might be expecting too much from them. Although plenty of people do this, unrealistic expectations in friendships can be hard to admit. Expectations can make people unable to feel completely free around us or unable to be themselves, which can suffocate and smother relationships.
You cannot expect friends to agree every time you speak
You should be ready to face a lot of disappointment if you are the one who would want your friend to agree with whatever you say and every time you speak. It would help if you were smart enough to figure out what are reasonable expectations in a friendship because people have their own opinions and thoughts. Therefore, it can be unrealistic to expect them to agree with you consistently.
If you want your friends to agree with something, you can try to persuade them with facts and research, but you should never try to assume that they will or should always be agreeing with what you say. People have different ways of judging things; they may start feeling uncomfortable if you keep insisting on something, even if you are right.
Your friends cannot respect you if you don’t respect yourself
It is a reality that respect always starts within, and therefore, you need to do what it may take in order to respect yourself, if you would like to be respected, especially by your friends. You need to ask yourself, ‘do I expect too much from my friends? You need to live in a way that tends to demonstrate your self-respect in front of the friends.
You also need to ask yourself that would you be speaking to a respected friend the way you are able to speak to yourself? In reality, the way you treat yourself can set the standards on how other people, including your friends, will be treating you.
Expecting your friends to know what you are thinking
It is a fact that if you cannot articulate your thoughts, then you should never expect your friends to understand what you have in your mind. It would be best if you never were among the friends who expect too much from others because it is important to understand your own thoughts rather than seek your friends’ opinions.
You can start by being honest to yourself regarding what you are thinking, what you are feeling and what you actually want. When you are clear about yourself, you will start communicating easily with your friends by not expecting too much from them.
Try to appreciate, don’t take for granted
You have to practice expressing appreciation frequently because we tend to make a list of expectations for friends, and expecting too much may result in them feeling that it’s never enough, no matter how much they give. People always gravitate towards the ones who properly see them and appreciate them.
It can often be difficult to be thankful to your friend and may feel vulnerable, but in the end, it will be doing amazing things for your friendship. Try to make a friendship without expectations, because there are times when we confuse feeling comfortable around our friends, and sometimes take them for granted.
It is quite rare that your friends behave exactly the way you want. It is always better for you to hope for the best and expect less because there is a big difference between friendship expectations vs reality. Our happiness magnitude is directly proportional to thoughts and the way we choose to think about different things. If you think that your friendship is not working out, it is still worth it if you learn something new from it.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Why shouldn’t you expect a lot from your friends?
It is always good not to expect your friends to do what you don’t do for yourself. The majority of people get disappointed when their expectations are not met. We naturally become disappointed when we think someone would do something and they don’t.
- Is it fine to have expectations in friendship?
When you realize that you may not be able to have the same expectations from everybody can help you to transform how you handle relationships. This can be very helpful to bring healthy friendship connections and emotional safety.
- Through what ways expectations affect us?
It is worth noting that expectations tend to determine our reality. Normally our expectations impact the ones who are around us, while we have a self-fulfilling prophecy we like or hate people according to our expectations.
- In what ways should one set expectations for a friend?
In order to deal with the letdowns, it is important to be realistic, keep everything in perspective. Other than that, you need to conquer things by yourself and quickly get over them.