Self Improvement

How to stop being controlling

stop being controlling

Are you a controlling person? Do you want to know how to stop being controlling? Do you tend to control things, situations, people and relationships? If yes then this article is exactly for you.

I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience and to respect the fury of nature-Paulo Coelho

In life, many things will not be in your control so instead of trying to grasp them, get control over try to go with the flow. Accept the things that the universe is offering you and be happy with them. If you are controlling then your life will never be at ease and also of those around you. So try to give up this behavior and become flexible. Even a leader with too much controlling behaviour is revealing insecurity and lack of leadership so try to avoid it.

Now let’s discuss some ways in which you can practice avoiding being controlling.

Challenge the fear

Sometimes we tend to show controlling behaviour because we are afraid of the outcomes, we fear situations, we fear the result so firstly analyze what is making you afraid and once you know it then make yourself understand that some things are not in our control and even if the bad happens to us all we can do is accept it and then move on.

stop being controlling

Also, we never know what will be the outcome. At times things that we expect might not happen or maybe we are expecting something bad but instead, something good happens to us. So trying to control the situation even before it happens is not a wise act and you should avoid it.

Practice acceptance

We need to accept the fact that we can only control ourselves because it’s our life and we have a full right to it but when it comes to others we are not supposed to control it. They can figure out their things so we don’t need to tell them what they should do or not.

You can also practice mindfulness to fully understand the present moment to know what’s happening to you, your thoughts. To realise what’s causing controlling behaviour and what can you do to stop it. So try it out, live your own life and let others do the same.

Practice being flexible

Accept that you can’t control everyone and in this regard try to be as flexible as possible. If someone is saying something that you don’t agree with then let them do that keeping in mind that it’s their life and they can do whatever they want to. Be flexible to new ideas, new perspectives, new people. This will help you to stop being so controlling. Make a room for innovations, maybe someone’s point is more valid than yours, maybe their decision can prove to be more effective so be flexible and accept everything that’s coming your way.

Don’t use control-oriented Language

Change your words, it will change your life. You have to be very conscious when you are speaking. Words play a very important role in making an impression on others so make sure your words don’t seem like control instead be more kind, respectful and humble. oWhen asking for some favour, use please and other words that show that it’s a request, not an order. If you don’t agree with someone’s opinion then you can tell them in a kind tone instead of being disrespectful so be mindful of what you are saying.

Work on your anxiety

Some people show controlling behaviour because of their anxiety issues. Various ways can help you to reduce anxiety. You can try out those tips to cope with your anxiety. We all deserve to be kind to ourselves and others so try to work on yourself so people won’t get affected by your toxic behaviour. Everything takes time but with practice and effort you can get rid of your toxic behavior so learn ways of how to stop being controlling.

Try a mantra

Do you want to know how to stop being controlling? Here is a pro tip for you. Changing your thoughts and behaviour takes time. So you can try mantras to remind yourself that you don’t need to be controlling.

Mantras can be like:

  • I can only control myself
  • We all are responsible for our own lives
  • I will respect everyone’s choices
  • I will not control other people
  • I will be kind to Others

I will be empathetic to others

These are some of the mantras that you can try. Many like these can help stop your controlling and toxic behaviour.


Is controlling toxic behaviour?

Yes, you have no right to control other people’s lives so it is toxic behaviour.

How to stop being controlling?

You can practice the ways we have mentioned above to stop being controlling and live your life freely.

Does controlling behaviour ruin relationships?

Yes controlling behaviour often ruins relationships, it makes the other person feel frustrated, and sad because no one wants to be in control of his/her partner so before it’s too late learn how you can change your toxic controlling behaviour and become better.

If you practice acceptance can it help become less controlling?

Yes, practising acceptance will make you realise that you only have your own life in your hands and you have no right to control other people.

Does anxiety lead to controlling behaviour?

Yes, in some cases anxiety also leads to controlling and toxic behaviours so you need to learn how to cope with your anxiety to stop being controlling and become a better person.

Final Words

Humans are created to live freely and let others do the same so if you have controlling behaviour then you should know how to stop being controlling and live peacefully. Indeed it will be really helpful for your self-improvement and grooming.

Spread Love, Stay Happy!

Leave a Reply